This post, although for anyone, is designed for the non-married folk among us. So if you are married, please consider passing it on to the single people that you know. I trust that it will be a blessing to them.
ah, Love… That wonderful yet mysterious topic. One that somehow seems to remain an anomaly for most of the human race (and especially the feminine side of it….;).
Although love is actually quite simple, somehow we seem to complicate it for ourselves. Does she still love me? Am I good enough? Maybe I will never get married? Does he think I’m beautiful? There are a myriad of questions that can go through our hearts when considering the subject of love. Sometimes they are directed towards a person, and other times (for the single folk), they just swim around in our heads, plaguing us with the fears of loneliness and rejection.
The truth is, Love is actually not complicated at all. We just complicate it for ourselves. And for the most part, this is because we do not understand how love works, and because of that we end up having the wrong expectations or end up looking for love in the wrong places, or both. Wrong expectations usually lead to dissapointment, which is followed by feelings of rejection. And when we find love in the wrong places, we end up with much of the same emotions, tied up with extra hurt and baggage as well. It all ends up being a vicious cycle that we cannot seem to find success in.
The reason for this is very simple again. We were made to love. Every single person has been designed to have an insaciable desire to love and be loved. Why? Because we were made for love. God designed us in such a way that we would find our fulfillment in him. And because he is love, He designed us to live by Him through Him and to Him. He, His person, His Nature (love) being the coals that fuel the fire of love within us.
Now, to make this practical: Love is something like food. It comes in many different forms and varieties. The choices we have for food are almost limitless. There’s roast beef, there’s a sandwich, a pie, lasagne, fried eggs, bacon, chicken, leg of lamb, and you get the picture. There are thousands, if not tens of thousands of different food types and meals. And although there are many varieties, the result of eating is essentially the same no matter what you eat…. nourishment. On its most basic level, food and eating is designed to sustain our life. What you eat (bar non-nourishing food) is not as important as eating. The point is ultimately to be nourished and sustained.
Now Love although a person (God), comes in many forms. It comes in the form of a new bicycle from a father, in a warm cooked meal from a mother, in an sms from a friend, in a birthday card. Love is all around us. God has made himself available to us in many different forms. The question is, are we taking Him in? Are we honouring (eating) the love that we have?
What would you say to a hungry person who upon receiving a slice of bread said, “I don’t want that, I WANT ROAST BEEF!”
Well, I would probably say that the were ungrateful and not give them anything ever again.
And the same is true for love. Most of us do not actually honour and enjoy the love that God has already given us. So instead of being satisfied with what we receive, we constantly lust after the type of love that we want. This is generally the fine dining uber magnificent love of a partner. We live unsatisfied disappointed lives because we do not have roast beef, instead of realising the variety of foods that the Lord has laid out before us. Instead of appreciating that which he gives us, we sit and complain like spoilt children, or run off and try to find it for ourselves like rebellious children. Neither attitude will result in what we want, or give us what we were designed to have.
Now, any good parent knows not to give a child what they want, especially when they are ungrateful with what they have received already. Such a child needs to be disciplined. Such a child needs to learn how to appreciate what they get before they can get what they desire. And the Lord, who is a loving and good Father, knows exactly how to work with such children. He is excellent at it!
So if you are in a position where you feel dissatisfied because you do not have a partner, ask yourself the following questions:
How has God made himself (love) available to me already? And then, “Am I honouring and enjoying it with a grateful heart?”
And if you are currently in a relationship where you feel dissatisfied or often find yourself in relationships that either leaves you broken or causes destruction in your life you should ask yourself the following questions:
“How has God made Himself (healthy love) available to me already?” And then “How can I eat the good stuff and stop eating the bad?”
Answering these questions honestly will help us determine our heart’s approach to the Lord and the love that he has so lavishly given us. And if we can learn how to honour and enjoy the love that the Lord has already given us, He will certainly give us more… maybe even the types that we so desire…;)
Lord, may we understand that you are our Father and that you know best. You made us and know exactly what we need and when we need it. We can trust you to provide for all our needs. And especially our need for love. You are all too aware of it, for you designed us with it. May we learn to rely on your discretion in this area and be grateful for your provision. For there is always enough!
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